This is a F***ed up Blog

Girlfriends without Toni Child

2006-11-09T19:24:00.000-08:00

Now for all these people out there with no life like me ( actually this is a joke i actually have a life.) ( No really i do, I have friends and family that i go out with everyday, okay), you might have noticed that Toni Childs is no longer a character in the Series Girlfriends. I mean don't get twisted in a karate ball, but i love all of them equally, but without Toni, the show is garbage in my garagr that i need to take tomorrow. I feel so empty inside and my colon is limp and old. Girlfriends without Toni, is like 1 finger missing from a hand. It's like Geri missing from the Spice Girls( and yes i loved the Spice Girls, okay), and we all know how that gravy ended up being served. So employers out there, if you have a job opening you better get them ready, cause someone is about to be out of work very soon. Now that's really F***ed up. Check pi Well i know Joan is the main character and all, but i don't think she can carry out the whole show on her shoulders. And judging from the episodes of the new season, i'm gonna say anything but God Bless her Diana Ross's daughter soul. May God bless my sinning self too ( Hope i spelled that right, Seriously i think i need to be hooked an phonics)

Talking about divine help, this one needs on desperatly, for her looks i mean. Well not that she looked good before, but damn can you get any worse. Okay fine, my conscience won't let me sleep tonight, so i'm going to be nice. I love amd she look realy cuteWell Apparently Jill Marie Jones just finished two movies and hey waht can i say, she's been lookin fly as a kite lately so heads down to her.Now to the oddball of the bunch. I might be wrong but she looks like in 10 years she'll be in the where in the mother of church of Coco Chanel is she at now. Again people come up, i might be wrong.
Now that's really F***ed up.

Random Fact: Goat milk is used more widely thoughrout the world than cow's world.

The skinny ( Haha get it) on Nicole Richie

2006-11-09T12:36:00.000-08:00

Okay you know what guys lets get serious here, okay. This is a very serious issue that needs to be discussed. Okay fine manybe not on the end of the footlong sub, but this is the issue. Nicole Richie does not even look human anymore. You can literally see her bones coming out of her flesh. It's one thing to look skinny, but it's another to look like toothpick on top of cherry covered cake of grass. And guess what now she's a burnette. Can someone say copycat of Lindsay Lohan. What's up with these girls anyways. They always party, always go the dinner and sometimes i wonder if they even do any work as a matter of potato. But hey not my business right. WWRRROONNGGG. Now click right on your mouse twice. Feel free to not leave comments.
Now that's really skinny F***ed up.

Love and Caring Time

2006-11-08T21:52:00.000-08:00

Well as you can see, there is another picture of Diddy (Whatever his name happens to be, and on that note I should change my name to caquadoodle), he seems to be everywhere these days ( my kitchen too believe or not), Well apparently Kim Porter his girlfriend/wife said that the relationship between J-Lo and Diddy wasn’t real.
Kim: The relationship wasn’t real. The world just saw the bright lights and the camera. But I knew what was really going on. He was still in love with me.
Diddy: I know she deserves to get married, but I’m just not ready”
Okay am I the only one that thinks that Kim Porter is crazy. The relationship wasn’t real, WWWHHHHAAATTT. He stills loves you, that’s why he won’t marry you right okay. Anyways J-Lo is still with weird ass March Anthony.
Make what you will of it, but I’ll make sweet potato and gravy with it. HAHAHAHA. Feel Naked to leave your comments.
Now that’s f***ed up.
Random Fact: My Ex-boss (who by the way fire for no particular reason, aside of the fact that i was getting lazy, who me lazy, after all i did in the that damn place. i deserve an Oscar, Grammy damn it a Nobel Peace Prize), looks just like Marc Anthony

Crybaby Of The Month

2006-11-08T21:20:00.000-08:00

Hey Guys, guess what I’m back. Not like any of you losers was anticipating my return, but whatever. Okay well I was recently happened to be watching the MTV Europe Music Awards. Well all the cows and belles seemed to be getting along fine, until one thing happened that made me return from a trip to Graceland with Elvis Presley. Kanye West and his annoying self decided to get up on stage and what, what, what. Say with me little boys and girls “ Act a Fool”. So he basically gets up there and starts ranting about Oh I paid a million dollars for the video “ Yea right, wrong Mary of Cadafi” and he had Pam Anderson in the video. HHHOOLLLDD UUUUPPPP, what Pam Anderson hasn’t had a movie since ages and they were all up in the video, making out and poop, I was like were is the Puke Bucket Alert, and yea. And you know he could have not pulled that off at a black award show because they would have booed his ass offfffffffff. Well anyways the rainbow still passes through hell and gets back in the school bus so. Now that’s really F***ed up.

Random Fact: I like cats and dogs

Items of the Moment

2006-10-12T18:58:00.000-07:00

T.V Show of the Moment
Ugly Betty
Teardrop, teardrop, Running tearrivers down my face, drowning in my own pool of tears. Oh good lawd errytime i watch this show on the television, i feel like crying to my mammy. No seriously everytime i watch it reminds me of me in high school and curl up in a ball and transform into a hairball. Okay not really i was actually cool in high school, i was in talent shows, attended the prom and everything......... Alright maybe not but the show is the s***t. It's funny entertaining and has a really good message to it. Features newcomer America ( was her mama on crack when she gave her name) Ferrera and 99 years old botox freeze face Vanessa Williams. Now question of the day, how old is V.Wiliiams, she was Miss America in 1980, damn i wasn't even born. It airs Thrusdays at 8P.M on ABC. Now that's F***ed up.

Movie of the Moment

Now Listen. Take a good look at this poster, cause you will soon see it just about everywhere. It'll be at ur local movie theather(how the hell do you spell that word anyhow), billboards, bustops, schools, museums, burger king, sunrise, the moon, overcrowded farm house and maybe ur local porn shops( u notice how porn shops always have a back entrance for certain shady customers. U can run and enter through the back door, but God sees and he will send you straight to hell......along with me and my sinning self. anyways back to my movie). There's been crazy Oscar Buzz for Forest Withaker and boy oh girl does he deserves it. It's currently out in limited release and also stars Kerry Washington. It's now out in theathers in limited release. Now that's F***ed up.

Song of the Moment

Oooh this is my blueberry peanut butter ( since i almost chocked and died on it last week i don't say jam anymore). Now i was a little concerned when i saw the Get up video. The budget for that video was probably as much as my Grade 2 monday lunch money. And all of the sudden what is this i hear. This beat to this song is so sick and inspires me to go out and feed the homeless ( Have you notice that sometimes homeless people are usually very rude and picky. they be like " A dollar is that all you have to offer me" Like no). Her vocal are perfectly done in a falsetto tone. The lyrics are swimming " You can be my teacher i'll do more work. You can give me extra credit i'll do more work"And it's produced by Polow da Don. So make sure u check it out it's fiyah fiyah. Now that's F***ed up.

Album of the Moment

Release Therapy

If u haven't gone to the stores and gotten it yet ( or for you thiefs out there like got the bootleg copy), what are you waiting for. It's got crazy tracks in there and it's out right now. Tracks u need to watch (or listen in this case) for are: Moneymaker; Girls Gone Wild; Runaway Love ft Mary J Blige. Now all of this is realy F***ed up.

Random Fact: Most Lipsticks contain Fish Scales.

Chris Brown in the O.C?????

2006-10-12T18:41:00.000-07:00

Come on people say it with " Chris Brown in the O.C.... WWWHHHAATTTTTTT". Yea it's okay u feel that way i do too. Apparently Mr. Brown will be playing the part of a nerd that stirs up the action in night time soap opera. Okay like for real who still watches the O.C these days. Since Mischa Barton left, there is really no point in staying tune to watching anymore. Now say it with me guys OOOOHHHHHHH. There are trying to get Chris Brown's fans whom are mostly African-american Tweens to tune in. Ooooh i'm so smart some times. I figured that out all by myself. So if you haven't had enough of Chris Brown playing on BET 24/7, tune in to the O.C. now that's F***ed up man. well not really but whatever. This story made me really dizzy for some odd reason.

Random Fact: If you unfold your brain, it would cover an ironing board

Random Observation

2006-10-11T21:59:00.000-07:00

Owww no mommy. It's a mummy, it's a ghost, it's a cadavre ( a old dead body for you illiterate ones out there, ouch hope i spelled that right) no it's the other menbers of Destiny's child(okay fine i take that back). While the virgin mary ( Beyonce wink wink nudge nudge) is out there rockin fierce weave, spotless make up and stylin shezikellin outfitins, you have the two looking runaway black barbie dolls. Now may God bless their soul ( and mine as a matter pf fact for sayin all of these atrocities) and trust me i love kels and Miches but come on. But wait, it's not their fault. Judge hit hit on the table of the horse stable, maybe it's maybelline. When DC is together, the whole stylin travels with them. That includes Cleopatra Jones ( Tina Knowles) as the head. When DC is not together there is really no point in Tina being there for anyone but her daughter. Matter of fact i don't even think Tina even remenbers who the heaven is Michelle Williams. While B, Solange and Tina look like the Cinderella Slippers, Kels and Michelle look more like what Cinderella mops the floor with. HaHaHaHaHaHaHa. Seriously guys i am actually a really nice person outside of this and can just hope u guys see it. U and the man upstairs cuz i need to pay my bills next month. Now that's F***ed up.

Random Fact: 'Formicophilia' is the fetish for having small insects crawl on your genitals

Whoopi Let's get on down to Africa

2006-10-11T21:48:00.000-07:00

OOooooooooooooooooooooooOOO......... Look at our favourite couple. Mary and Joseph are taking a long walk through Jerusalem. For some odd reason Beyonce and Him ( For those of you who don't know i don't call Jay-Z by his human name why because he isn't one......... Fine i'm only playing ) decided to get down to my home land Africa ( Baapp Baapp) to show there are actually affected by world issues. They were probably in their private jet on their way to the south of france ( and yes it is the only vacation spot they seem to know, byt more on that later) and said to the pilot, hey Matthew Knowles take us to Africa and asked Tina the hostess," Get us some crystal (oops sorry Jay-z don't drink crystal no more) i mean water. Now okay for real now. You might wonder why Beyonce all of the sudden decided to stop her worldwide promotional tour to free the children. But that's where u stuck a cream cheese bagel up ur ass.Jay-Z + Rihanna performing together in a far away land = Suspicious and helpless BeyonceNow if u notice on the bottom pic u notice Beyonce's cousin/bodyguard/ghostwriter/personthattellshershesbeautiful/fatfriend(no that's not nice) let me rephrase that not so skinny friend. Now that's f***ed up.

Random Fact: Armadillos can get leprosy.

Rapper Shawnna Vs Stripper Shawnna

2006-10-11T21:06:00.000-07:00

Now a couple days ago i came across this picture and it woohoo mammy watta watty. I said since when video ho's hold microphone and sing along with the artists. But wait, that's when i took a closer look and notice that it wasn't a video ( ok i'm going to be nice and say) models. It's the one that every one loves to hate and ignore: Shawnna. I mean don't get me wrong i like her( meaning i can't stand her) but. Okay you know waht i could say some things right now but i'm gonna ask myself. What would Jesus do? he would say she's a great girl and deserves the best ( Yeah Right). And by the way this screenshot was taken at the Second Annual Dirty Awards. My question is since when ghetto barbecue gatherings get to be called award shows.

Random Fact: For every "normal" web page there is about five porn web pages.

The Black Hiltons

2006-10-08T22:25:00.000-07:00

Let me introduce you to the Blaris and Blikki Hilton. Now God bless their poor lost souls. I mean don't get me wrong i love the simmons twins. Okay whatver they're not twins but they sure look like it. But my question is do these girls actually have a home, a room, a bed to sleep on at night time, because every time i see them they are out somewhere throwing their lives away like little tramps looking to be breastfed. Okay not really but what i'm trying to say is that they are hitting the hollywood party circuit hard. Look my policy is if you're not promoting an album, movie ,perfume, clothing line or reality show there is no reason why you shoud attend events. It's like hey guys it's partytime,all we need is music, champagne. a dancefloor and the simmons twins. Whoo hoo. Now that's f***ed up. Okay after all this gossiping i better get my bible ready, or i'll be on the express highway to Hell

Freeze Sucker you're in the Spotlight

2006-10-08T21:47:00.000-07:00

Now listen i'm all about the new generation, the ones that will rise above the mass and guide us through the new era that will laed us into temptation of the wild animal on the desert island of Mortemo where we will eat french fries and sip on Gravy. Fine okay maybe not but, you may not have heard of this next guy but trust me u will very soon. Polow Da Don pictured on the right next to Fergie Ferg and we love her long time. This guy is sick. Puke Bucket Alert. His production style is incredible, the instruments he uses are great and he is basically the poop.Here are some of the songs he produced:

Buttons - Pussycat Dolls
Pimpin all over the world - Ludacris ft Bobby Valentino
London bridges - Fergie Ferg and we love her long time
Blindfold me _ Kelis ft Nas
DJ play a love song - Jamie Foxx
and the new yet to be released Ciara's single - Promise
and he's currently working on Gwen Stefani, Young Jeezy and Mya's album. So the list will go on and on and on and on okay maybe not, but you get the point. But damn this typing itches my fingertips 4 real B.

If you wanna know more about him go to: www.myspace.com-polowdadon

Ebony and Ivory

2006-10-08T21:36:00.000-07:00

Yayyyh.Yayyyh.Yayyyh.Yayyh. Look who's best friends. If it isn't Ebony and Ivory, living together in harmony, Sing it guys, Ebony and Ivory, wooo living together in harmony. Well aparrently word is that Beyonce and her thing ( i'm not even gonna call him man judging by that picture) are now best friends with Barbie and Ken ( for the idiots out there that would Chris Martin and G. Paltrow). Now it's funny because in real life situations, if Chris Martin saw Jay-Z down the street, he would probably cross over to the other sidewalk all while praying to God for his life. And in real life situation if Gwyn saw Beyonce in a store, she'd say "Oh my god Becky look at her butt it's like so big and round". But hey when you got money and fame what can you not do. Now that's really F***ed up.

2006-10-08T20:52:00.000-07:00

Now you guys are probably wondering. Why is he posting pics of Ciara and Bow wow. But wait i was watching BET two days ago and saw a spot for the access granted of the new video for "Shorty like mine" with Bow wow ft Chris Brown. That's when i noticed why is it that everytime bow wow comes out, he somehow as to snatch the hottest teen act aroung to help him out in his endeavours.Now u might say what, who ,where. Bare with me here:

1. Let me Hold you down: Bow wow ft Omarion

2. Like you: Bow wow ft Ciara

3. Drumroll please; Shorty Like mine: Bow wow ft Chris Brown.

This is the part where you go like oh oh oh okay, i get it. yea now that's really F***de up.

Blame it on the rain

2006-10-08T20:38:00.000-07:00

Hey Look who it is it's the girl responsible for beyonce acting all crazy in "Ring the alarm". People don't trip we all her and Jay-Z have a lil sum going on. Even though the thought of it makes me sick. Puke bucket Alert. She looks fine here, but the only thing rihanna needs to wash out here is that forehead. Behold the forehead. Get bangs, rock a sidesweep, goddamn it put a sign on it saying Don't look at my forehead, cuz that's really f***ed up.

This is my first f***ed up post

2006-10-08T20:30:00.000-07:00

Well guess what guys i'm here. Now i'm not gonna front okay. I like blogs and i read them all the time, especially celebrity blogs. But one thing i think is f***ed up is that, the writers don't really have an opinion. I mean i like to see pictures and stuff, but come on i want some sort of commentary so i was sitting down today watching the price is right. And yes i do watch that show, dont be laughing. but anyways i said " Hey i don't really have a life anyways, so why not just start my own blog. And i said this is what my blog is going to do. Basically i'm going to talk about F***up celebrities. okay i'm tired of writing on this shit ass keyboard so i'm gonna stop my story. Oww major headache from writing this long ass thing.